I had worked all my life, well over forty years, been married three times, had two sons and suddenly I was no longer able to work due to my health. My entire adult identity was tied to career, work, purpose. In the beginning, when I was told I could no longer work by my physicians, I was lost. I was very ill, bedridden, shut off from people. I love people, all people. How did I end up here, now, in this bed, alone. Lonely. Depressed. Just plain sick. I was so unhappy. But I thought a lot. I thought about my childhood, which was not good. I was an only child. Alone, lonely, surrounded by adults always, longing for children my age to play with, longing for brothers and sisters. So I had heard of this thing called Facebook. I set up an account on my laptop while in bed. I could sit up in bed and write. It was painful. So, in the beginning I posted very little. Wow. Suddenly all these people were messaging me and friending me and asking things about me. I developed what I considered to be a daily job. I have always loved to write and to tell jokes and develop relationships and meet new people. Perfect!
And then that day I met Jesus, you remember, the very first post on my blog. That first conversation was astounding. I was mesmerized with this Joshua Ben Joseph. He told me he was just like me. He told me his name was Roger. But, I felt something very different, deep in my soul. I felt I was learning something very valuable and that I should pay very close attention to every word he said. I was afraid, very afraid. How could I, of all the people on the face of this earth, be one of the chosen to be picked. You see, he and others had been watching me on Facebook. Reading my wall, my posts, my conversations, my friend list and how I interacted with those friends. What was important to me, how I had developed over the six months or so since I had joined Facebook and opened my account. And besides, they did not choose me, I chose to send him a friend request.
He asked me how I felt about "religion". I told him I was a convert to Catholicism. I told him the Catholic Church was the only church for me. I had been a Catholic since 2003. But, I had some issues with the Catholic Church. I did not agree with everything they were doing in 2006. You've seen it all in the news, so I won't list all those things here. Let's get back to "The Message".
He asked me about my belief system. My personal relationship with God. The Bible. Scripture. He asked me so many questions. And then he said it was no coincidence that I was speaking with him. He said there is a reason people are put in our lives. Always. A reason. And it may be some time before we realize why those people just show up and become close to us. The person who suggested I friend him was also a friend of his, and a friend of mine. Someone else who had been watching my wall and my posts. You see, every morning I gave a good morning message. I love to write, as I said before, and I love people. All people. So my message was always about Love and the day and God's beautiful earth. Then I would write a message in the evening. A good night message. I rarely missed a day over the months and years, and I still do this when I am feeling well and it is not too late. I go to bed very early.
I had been searching on Facebook. Fascinating, the knowledge of different countries, cultures, beliefs, food, everything you could learn from the people who actually lived in all those places. Different languages. Through conversation I learned to talk to anyone, anywhere with emoticons and brief occasional words that stood out in our posts. I was into Angel groups, Dark Witches and Warlocks so handsome and beautiful and pagan. So interesting. Going back in time, learning, learning, learning, so much so quickly. I was in groups that are very prestigious in other countries. I was friends with musicians who were popular in the 60's, 70's, 80's, even popular today. I found my place. My place to interact with people.
Now I will share the message I began to use at night, because the good night message I began to use and refine over and over was the reason I was chosen. And when I have time, I still use it to say good night to all my friends all over the world.
"The day is done. I did my best. I love you all. Remember to Love Thy God, Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself. We are ALL Brothers and Sisters. We are ONE. We are all children of God. We are so very small in this huge universe of universes. We need to stop the petty bickering, the arguing, the debate. It doesn't matter. We must think Bigger, much Bigger. We must see that Love and Light are the only way to survive. We must pray for Peace. My life is a prayer for Peace around the world, for all mankind. We must get this right, or we are doomed.....make it so....."
And that really is the message. Oh, and the butterflies? Oh, just wait until I tell you the story of the butterflies. It is incredible and beautiful.....
Copyright/Susan Steeley 2014
No comments:
Post a Comment