Butterflies

A long time ago, when my search began for...what...I didn't know for sure what I was searching for in my life. I was suddenly homebound, alone and lonely. Trapped. A prisoner in my own home. Unable to work. Unable to be with people. In bed all day and all night. So I became one of "those" people. Those people who spend all their time on Facebook. The lonely. The house bound. The people who had been lost and suddenly found they had a place they could go and make "Friends". So, I looked up and studied pets, dogs specifically. I've always had a little toy female dog in my life. I guess it was my parents trying to make up for so much loss and hurt in my life, at a very young age. To this day I have a little female dog. She is almost like a little person. They are all like that, little toy breed dogs. Well, so here I am on Facebook and I find the dark side. Or, what I thought was the dark side of life. Witches, warlocks, covens. But I visited their walls on Facebook over and over. These people were onto something. It was more like pagan religion, which is as old as time. Some of the things I read and loved and shared on my wall. Some of the things, well, I was very cautious in what I shared. I liked that they openly expressed unconditional love for each other. They said things like Blessed Be, and So mote it be. New experiences for me. Learning experiences. There is the dark side of life, and then you find it is not so dark after all. They cared about the environment, each other and natural medicine, food, everything natural. So I would friend and talk to them. There is some wisdom there. Some life experience.

Then I joined the Angel groups. I was with them a long time and I still am friends with them. There are many Angel groups, and they are filled with what they call Love and Light. They are pleasant, they use herbs for everything. They are into crystals and flowers and tea and prayer and the inner qualities of everyone. They and the covens I had joined seemed to communicate with each other. I learned about spirit here first. I learned to sit outside in nature and observe. Sit in the same place every day in the sun and be aware of your surroundings. Watch for you animal totems and spirits. Watch and listen for your Angels. Your spirit guides. Part witch, part Angel, part Native American culture. So I did all these things. Nothing was happening. And then one day, the most beautiful butterfly landed on me. On my arm. And it sat there for a good fifteen minutes, opening and closing its beautiful wings and, I swear, looking into my eyes. And then it was gone. Simply flew away. I felt something inside. Like it was trying to tell me something. Silly, I thought, butterflies can't talk. But then, the next day it was there again. Already on the arm of my patio chair. Like it was waiting for me. So out I went and sat down. Sure enough, it moved up and sat on my arm and seemed content to just sit there until I moved to go inside.

This went on day after day, for many days, and I thought of this butterfly as someone I had lost who was trying to talk to me in a way I could not understand. Then, one day, a huge black Raven walked up to the patio, came very close and let out this loud and jarring screeching noise. I jumped at least a foot. Then it looked at me. Stared at me. What was it trying to tell me. I had no idea. But now, daily, I had a butterfly and a Raven. So I would take a piece of bread out and feed the Raven and let the butterfly sit on my arm and we were a perfectly happy little family of sorts sitting in the sun on the patio. I talked about this in the Angel groups and everyone kept telling me this was very special and I should pay attention to my inner feelings when these creatures were with me. It seems these were my animal totems, so the Angels told me. I was skeptical. I began taking pictures of the butterfly. Beautiful, like the one above. Sitting on my Star Gazer Lilies in my flower garden. And then other butterflies started showing up. Beautiful colors, beautiful wings, small, large, unusual. All unique and different in their own way. They made me so light hearted and feel somehow comforted, better.

Well, one day I was visiting online with Joshua Ben Joseph, and I looked at his wall and he had butterflies posted all over it. And he saw a picture on my wall that he asked permission to use in Jesusanity. The picture is in the upper right hand corner here as my profile picture. It is of a young woman laying her head on a large book and butterflies are flying up out of the book and all around her. She is sleeping. He posted that picture on his Facebook page, which at that time was Joshua Ben Joseph. He posted it as his cover photo. I had no idea why he did this. Some time went by and he kept asking about my butterflies and had I been spending time in the garden with them. I said yes, and he said this was very good and he wanted me to do this every day. Which I was, so it was easy to honor his wish.  

I was reading more and more of Jesusanity on his Facebook page and I came across something that made me freeze in one spot and my eyes kept reading it over and over again and again. The transformation of those who are sleeping peacefully, into waking up and remembering their real purpose on this earth. The butterfly represents those people. You see, the caterpillar weaves his cocoon, crawls inside for the winter, is warm and protected and in the spring emerges slowly as a beautiful butterfly. Of course, how obvious it was to me at this point. Just one of the many "aha" moments on my journey. I was like the butterfly. I was still in the cocoon. I was not ready to wake up yet.

Joshua Ben Joseph. He asked me every day about my butterflies. I would take pictures of them and describe every one of them in great detail to him. He would teach me something about God and Jesus every day. We had long discussions about these things and I soaked it up like a sponge. Who was this man? Joshua Ben Joseph. I kept saying his name. His name would wake me up in the night and I would remember his words in my sleep. Powerful words. Beautiful words. Words that made me think. Make me wake up, gradually.

A little at a time I was learning. Learning the way it was supposed to be, but hadn't been. A way that rang true. A way that was right and good. A lesson every day. He spent a lot of time with me. Online in Facebook. Teaching. What a great Teacher he was...is...

What did I learn? I learned Love, compassion, understanding, respect for all peoples, but most of all I learned about me.

That's all for today. There are plenty more days to tell about this journey I am on with Joshua Ben Joseph....oh, and Joshua Ben Joseph translated roughly into English, is Son Of Joseph. And, what, do you say, has that to do with Jesus? Just wait...oh just wait...you will be with me for the rest of the journey and in time, I will tell you.....

 

Copyright/Susan Steeley 2014